Metamorphosis: Living and Leaving High School, My final project

Film can be found at: http://youtu.be/40FPBFvIfFY

In my eight years at Lehi High School, I have seen so much change.  I struggle each year as a group of students with whom I have become incredibly close transitions and moves on to their next journey.  I believe that high school students are intelligent beings that can add much to our understanding of the world through their simplicity (their belief in dreams and possibilities) and their complexity (specifically in their understanding of human emotions and depth of feeling). 

Often, high school students feel like they aren’t heard.  It is my belief and mini-attempt through this short film, to help them feel empowered to take ownership of their own journey.  Throughout the filming and editing of this piece, it became clear that this project was an opportunity for me to really listen, to reverse the roles and have the teacher be taught by the life experiences of the students.  Utilizing principally the participatory mode, I gathered and facilitated both private and public interviews.  These students, for the most part, are very comfortable talking to me and having a camera in their face.  They trust that I will represent them well, and I hope that I have. 

I took a portion of my inspiration for this project from Chronicles of a Summer and the Up Documentary Series.  I am fascinated by the idea of letting people tell their own stories.  Though at first they may need some help, perhaps a question or two to get them going and the necessity of trusting the filmmaker, indeed something powerful can happen when a group of people is given a voice and a task. 

One fundamental of the documentary idea is the chance to give a voice to those who are not often questioned or listened to.  I turned on the camera and I just listened and let them talk.  By the end of the project, I had hours of footage, more than I could ever hope to use in a short film.  But I found, as I centered on what it is like for these students to really live and experience high school and their assumptions, dreams, and fears about leaving and encountering the world ahead of them, that I needed to give the audience an essence of who these students are as I have been fortunate to see them.  I needed to add the pictures highlighting a bit of their senior year; to let some of their poignant and important moments express themselves in free form and let their voices supplement the story they are creating.  I concluded that perhaps this listening would make me a better teacher.

My students expressed how difficult it was for them to be in this space of limbo, the pre-adult and post-adolescent phase, where the expectations placed upon them don’t match and they are left in a space of ambiguity.  Where they are told to (quoting one student) “choose a career, but save their hall passes so they can go to the bathroom.”  I found, in interviewing them, that their life experiences up to this point shaped their vision of the future.  While it is tempting for me, at times, to interject and say that their expectations are impractical; is that really my judgment to make?  One of the lessons reinforced from my students during this project was that everyone is a unique individual with their own journey to forge. 

These kids are speaking for themselves as individuals, but upon reflection, after watching the initial film, they spoke as a group.  It was very much a “we talk about us to you” approach.  While attempting to still give them autonomy and their own voice, as the filmmaker and their former teacher, I still chose what clips to feature and how the voices were arranged.   My voice is heard in the piece, but I tried to compose it in such a way that I didn’t make judgments on what my students felt or said.  Learning from the director of the Up Documentary Series, Michael Apted, who stated: “I've made mistakes on it and had to correct those mistakes. You know, particularly I got into a situation, I think, early on where I became judgmental about people — that if they didn't agree with my standards of success, failure, happiness, whatever, then I would feel they were the lesser for it….And I think what I've learned all the way through is the less I do, the better." (1)  It would be easy for me to state that some of their dreams aren’t realistic, or sink into my teacher mode and attempt to try to steer them in the direction that I want them to go with their lives.  But the ethical dilemma of “what to do with people” prohibits such an action.  Instead it informs my understanding of how I can interact with these students and encourage thought and reflection. 

I feel like this film was high collaborative.  I gave the students the opportunity to choose what questions they wanted to answer, to watch their responses and amend as they wished.  I sought their thoughts on what the piece should be about.  The innovation of digital technology allowed for this process to be succinct and collaborative.  Filming initially with my iPad, I was able to show them their footage immediately.  Granted, the camera was essential in facilitating the conversation, but the students were comfortable with talking to me while the camera was present.  While I wish, in some ways, that I could have asked more probing and deeper questions, it was more important for me with these relatively young people, who trusted me, to respect their boundaries.  There were a few things initially shared that the students didn’t want published on YouTube, so those didn’t make it into the final cut. 

For me, this film was a tribute to a group of students who have supported me through this very difficult year.   The social actors involved are a part of my life.  I think some aspects of the film function within the realm of a personal portrait.  We are able to view some private as well as public moments.  Snapshots reveal charismatic youth that are about to encounter the real world.  But there really is no solution offered for the problems they have faced or will soon encounter.  They mention their frustrations and fears, but also add in their realization that sometimes, you just have to go out and do.  You have to actively live.  These social actors surmise that success comes after you have come out of something hard and tackle whatever was thrown at you.  It is the metamorphosis, the changing itself, that allows for possible growth, living, and leaving for the next phase. 

1. (http://www.npr.org/2013/07/26/205760044/michael-apted-aging-with-the-7-up-crew)