Final Blog, goals and doc project.

First of all, the finalized Documentary film can be found at: http://youtu.be/-FTWJQbTczw


It is also uploaded above...I hope...or perhaps It will refuse to upload...in which case, check the YouTube link.

The previous post discussed this assignment and my responses to putting it together.  The purpose of this post, I believe, is to revisit my goals for the first of the semester, see how well I did with them and what would have helped me better achieve my goals.  In the original blog post, I discussed how I knew little to nothing about production.  Now I know how to set up a camera, hook up a mic, attempt to create decent lighting, set up a tripod - something I had never touched before - shoot, upload, and edit film.  I know how to capture sound and use the basic tools of Premiere.  I have taken those skills and used them on class projects as well as personal projects.  In a few short weeks, I'm not afraid of the camera and editing anymore.  I realize that I still have a way to go, but I feel so much more prepared to create projects on my own and teach my students to do so as well.

I spoke about not being so literal and being a better storyteller in my film projects.  The focus on story in this class really aided this goal.  I learned about screenwriting, storyboarding and narrative on a film level that really helped with some of my projects.

As I proposed in my early goals, I learned how to edit and use something besides my YouTube-learned version of iMovie.  I learned about different types of shots and better ways to teach my students about them, beyond a layman's understanding.  I think this will also help with the stage work my students do.  I wanted to know more about sound and lighting in film, and while I did learn a lot, I know I need lost more practice to help it really sink in.  I apparently only learn by doing.

I initially though that I don't really have subjects around me that are all tat compelling, but I have changed that.  I think my final documentary project, which is about my best friend is a celebration of the special and the interesting found in the everyday.  Further, the lesson plan that accompanies it should help my students to see the same.

I was able to learn much more about documentary and might be able to find a way to incorporate docu-drama into my thesis project...I need to flesh that idea out a bit more.  But I think I'm starting to see ways where I can incorporate media projects onto the stage as well, which is really exciting for me.

My overall goal was an attempt to gain the skills necessary to more fully integrate media into my curriculum, and I can honestly say that I am more prepared to do that this year than in the past 8 years of my teaching!  The opportunity to create lesson plans...which really translated into units for me...is most helpful in accomplishing this final goal.

So, where do I see myself in a few years, in terms of using production skills for pedagogical purposes and how do I propose to incorporate these practices and technologies into my classroom practice?

I would love to be able to get access to some of the equipment and programs in my realm at the school.  I'm wondering if I can do some cross-curricular stuff that proves the necessity and then write some grants.  Perhaps there is money out there to be had if one knows where to look and can prove the need.  Giving my students the opportunity to work with technology is a major goal.  But I would also like to find a way to incorporate the things I have learned using equipment that they have ready access to.  I need to plan more lesson plans and units to give all of my classes a way to incorporate media and production skills into my curriculum for each class.  I know I will be incorporating some documentary skills and creation of documentary films into my action research project for my thesis and also into a cross-curricular production that I am doing in the spring with the english department and my musical theatre class.  These projects are born out of what I have been doing in this program and I am excited to see where they go.  If they work, and they will obviously need revisions, but I think it would be amazing to find ways to continue to work with production and technology in my classroom, adapting it for years to come...because, let's face it, I will probably stay at LHS until I die and they burry me under the stage!

Blog Post 7 - Doc learning

First and foremost, like many of the projects in the class, I find that they are oftentimes much more difficult than I expected!  After having taken Brad's Doc class, I think I have a better understanding of what is required for a documentary.  Further, I have an understanding of how to interview and just how difficult it is to really fit a documentary into a perfect little mode - when there is clearly overlap.  Even if I start out, with a clear intention of doing a participatory doc, there will be observational moments, or even expository moments.  But I don't think any film can be particularly interesting if it can be contained in one tightly wrapped little box.  I'm a fan of asymmetry...

But in doing the project, I found that I did far more pre-production with this one.  I planned on what I would be able to capture, asked many many questions in the interview, brought my camera as much as possible to be able to capture the right footage that would allow me to easily edit.  I had lists of the footage I captured and a proposed flow for them as well.  But even with all the planning, as I was editing, I wished I had a few other b-roll segments.  My subject interviewed fairly well and my final film is a giant mash-up of all the bits I took from his interview.  But he said some things that made me think about moments that I failed to capture on film.  Moments I witnessed, but I was busy doing other things instead of filming.  So, one thing I learned, is that when creating a documentary, to make sure that the actual creating of the documentary and the capturing of footage is the most prime focus.  While I might think that I'm good at multi-tasking, it is impossible to film a documentary and be torn in so many other places.

But I am pleased with the final version.  I came in several hours early to work on it, in the hopes of being able to complete and upload at BYU; which I was able to do.  I think that this example will be a great springboard for my lesson plan with my students into a character study.  I think it's also a project that they will enjoy doing.

Creating a narrative

First, the film is available here and can also be found at: http://youtu.be/wG11OS4k9sk

BUT SERIOUSLY, WATCH IT ON THE YOUTUBE LINK, NOT THE BOX POSTED BELOW - I DON'T KNOW WHY, BUT THE QUALITY IS TONS BETTER ON YOUTUBE!

And now let's discuss the process of creating a narrative assignment...

The lesson plan is shared on a google doc that can be found at: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B6Qmd7A5DPV5Z0M5OEV3ZW15WlU/edit?usp=sharing

And the shooting script found at: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B6Qmd7A5DPV5S0JHbVlkcjZnd3M/edit?usp=sharing

To begin, I was actually excited about this assignment.  I, as stated in blog posts prior, really do love the art of storytelling. And I find it exciting and challenging to open up storytelling with my students in a new way, and specifically creating a process through which they can encounter, interact with, and create media.  To be honest, that is the main reason I decided to do this program.  I love teaching, and to be forthright and blunt, I am pretty darn good at it.  I have seen lots of success in my eight years at Lehi, but I find myself falling behind the students daily interactions with their mediated world.  I wanted to find a way to bridge the gap and incorporate media into what I am currently trying to do in the classroom and on the stage.

Now, as with all of these assignments we have encountered thus far, I certainly faced an uphill battle with more challenges than I originally anticipated.  And I might hate myself for saying this later, but I really appreciate that we are not only designing lesson plans, but trying them out ourselves.  I have had some moments go beautifully and some become tragic failures.  But the process of creating and adapting has been surprisingly refreshing and rewarding.  (If only my tired brain could retain all the things I am learning, so I don't have to keep asking the same questions...)

While perhaps my idea of taking a song and turning it into a short film may seem strange, I try to choose hooks and inspiration that I think my students will enjoy tackling.  They are always so excited to share their music with their friends, and with me, that I thought this would be a nice and fun approach.  Further, I think my idea of collaboration with the video production class will be really rewarding.  I know that class is often looking for material, and we live in an age where the term "cross-curricular collaboration" is like music to an administrator's ears.  I have spoken with the teacher at my school about this idea and he is excited to try to do something together.  Honestly, he wants us to get to the place that we are team teaching and creating a full fledged film with our classes...but this class has taught me that I need quite a bit more work and training before I'm ready for something like that!

The lesson plan has to be more like a 5-class period unit in order to assess that they have learned the material and have the opportunity to view, create, and critique new media.  But I like the prospect of taking their learning and skills up to this point and finding a new way for them to get excited about sharing it.  I further realized, that due to time and resources, or lack thereof, that this must be done as a group project.  While often group projects are hard because some slide by while the rest do the work, I make it a point in all of the group projects that I do in my classes for my students to, upon completion, give me a self assessment and a peer assessment for everyone in their group as well as a justification for each grade.  Further I assign the groups.  I find that this helps to prevent a lot of the problems usually accompanying group projects.

When I began filming, I faced quite a few sound problems and by the time I had them resolved, I didn't have my actors for much longer.  So we had to hurry and reshoot, and I wasn't able to get all of the shots I would have liked.  But this just taught me to test all of my equipment before and assure that I use my actor's time wisely.  It was a good lesson to learn.  Overall, I am pleased with how the project turned out, especially with the time constraints and learning curve.  I appreciate my former students coming to my rescue.  It's such a blessing to have people who will just take my direction and run with it, who trust me implicitly.  Of course, I wish there was better lighting, that I had turned off my air conditioning to have better sound, that I had a few more shots (especially shot, reverse shots, and a better transition between the day and night scene), I still found the process to be informative and fun.  And for extra measure, I added a truly cheesy moment at the end...but wasn't that the point of 80s hair band ballads?  Let's just call it my ode to Bon Jovi!

Dialogue Editing Exercise

AKA...the hair twirling debacle.

Video is available here or can be found at: http://youtu.be/5c776LMob1I

But the quality is much better on the Youtube link.  I would suggest watching it there instead!

Initial thoughts on teaching narrative film...

Much of what I teach in a drama class is focused on narrative.  Either construction or de-construction of the narrative plays a central part in my day to day instruction.  Of course, this is because I teach drama and the focus is on story and the techniques involved with telling the right story, the right way.  I love story and I love teaching students how to break apart its pieces, figure out how it works and put it back together.  There is pure joy found in the minutia.

Teaching narrative film is another beast entirely.  I think the most perplexing part is the introduction of technology.  While a lot of the preliminary work involved does flow chronologically, and therefor logically, once production commences, technology seems to take the forefront and all flow seems to disappear.  Ok, perhaps I am being slightly melodramatic, but the references to hair twirling as of late have got me second guessing a lot lately.  I think the point is to try to find continuity mixed in with all the technology.  And that is when narrative film starts to take place.

Perhaps it is easier in an ongoing film class, particularly in college, to teach these things, but as I begin to finalize and test out my lesson plans, I find that multiple days of instruction are necessary to really help students understand composition, continuity, and narrative.  Just a simple cursory overview will in no way be substantial enough to assess that they understand it all.  Further, they need hands on participation and application in pre-planning, filming, and editing in order to really give them any sort of a background.  They need to actually do it themselves to understand and do it several times.

So, my initial thoughts are these: that it takes careful planning and substantial time and resources to really teach these principals.  But if all we can initially do is get them to think more thoroughly about the films they watch and contemplate their construction, then at least we are giving them a foundation for real assessment and reflection on the media they so readily consume.

Composition Exercise

First, The video portion of this assignment can be found at: http://youtu.be/SjvyxuXDwt0

The assignment can be found at: https://drive.google.com/a/alpinedistrict.org/file/d/0B8BtsF97JUhfcDZIWTJUcm9ETG8/edit?usp=sharing

So...let's talk about the process...

My goal with the lesson plan was to introduce different shots to my students, and help them both start to notice the composition of those shots in the media that is around them today and learn how to create those same shots.  I think specifically, I wanted them to be able to identify which shots would work best in each moment so that they could create story boards and shot lists that would actually make sense.  After designing the newer version (the video one) of this lesson plan, I was sure that it would be accessible and fairly easy to accomplish.

But I didn't take a few factors into account.

First, I thought that taking their existing screenplays and deciding which shots for several moments would help to simplify the process, and while it did, I also found it highly limiting.  While shooting, I found that some moments weren't really conducive to the shot that I originally planned.  Additionally, during the editing process, that I wished that I had more shots and better angles than I had planned.  In retrospect, it would have been wiser to have them get 2-3 different shots for each moment that they could then use to determine the best one for the final project.  While this is more time consuming, it would give them a practical understanding of how elements of composition need to work together to tell a full story.  I thought that the shooting process could be easily accomplished in one class period.  After all, I was only asking them to get 10-12 of the shots they had planned out prior.  But even for me, shooting in one location, the process took over two hours.

Further, I wish so much that I hadn't chosen to do an outdoor scene, and I wish even more that I could have gotten people at a different time.  But as it was, I could only get those kids together on a Saturday afternoon when the sun was blaring down, the light was terrible, it was 102 degrees outside and my actors were miserable and wanted to leave...not a pleasant mixture for a decent film.  As much as I tried to adjust the camera, the white balance, the f-stop, etc., I still feel like the project came out with really harsh colors and looking amateurish.  And I know I could be capable, even with my inexperience, of creating a better final product.

Were I do actually do this with students, I would put them into groups and only choose one screenplay to work with.  I would give them plenty of class time in which to complete the product.  I would have them discuss and plan out shots beforehand, storyboarding it with stick figures, so they could cut down the set up process.  I would have them focus primarily on the shots and deciding which worked best to create a final project.  They would need editing tutorials to be able to finalize it, but that could be in a follow up lesson plan or two.  Further, I think finding proper equipment is going to prove difficult.  I need to find a solution for that issue.

Overall, I found this informative and discouraging all at once.  I thought I had enough footage to make a decent final project, and though I accomplished all the tasks on my worksheet check list, I don't feel like it really allowed them to see why each shot works. That's why I would make the changes discussed above.  I know there are several aspects of composition that I didn't cover in my lesson plan, but, knowing high school students as I do, you have to build upon concepts.  And the foundational elements, the basics, first need to be mastered (or at least clearly understood) in order to really add to the end goal of practical and thorough application.

Editing exercise

Video can be found at: http://youtu.be/sOt_bLr5JTE

Process of composition...it's hard!

Ok, so the reality that is dawning on me, the one I am sharing with several former students, is that the process of filmmaking if far harder than I ever thought.  Sure, I knew it would be complicated, and that the technical aspect was one that we would have to learn through study, trial, and error.  But honestly, I don’t know how anyone could do this job without having gone to school for it.

I appreciate that I am beginning to see elements of camera technique, editing, and composition in the films, television shows, and commercials that I watch.  The more I view them, the more I’m struck with how difficult it is to get it exactly right.  And especially to do it with apparent ease.  Perhaps, that it the point.  It needs clear and practiced technique.  But composition is all around us.  Even the background screen on my laptop, which changes frequently, practices the rule of thirds. 

In designing a lesson plan for high school students to help them understand the elements of composition, I found that I would need to do it within a directing unit.  Granted, this could be a section of a filmmaking unit, but the principles are the same, nonetheless.  I also found that it was difficult to progress from an elementary understanding to actually demonstrating those principles with a camera in a mere lesson.  Students need a foundation upon which to build.  Additionally, in a school like mine, getting access to video camera is going to prove difficult, though most have phones with at least some video capability, and certainly photographic ability.  That’s why I initially chose to go that route; though I see the necessity of demonstrating an understanding of how to capture the elements of composition with an actual video camera.  It’s something I’m trying to figure out how to balance within my curriculum. 

I truly see the benefit of teaching composition, in all of my classes, film or no.  But I do think I need to create a space for my students to first start observing the type of shots and what they communicate, the use of balance, nose room, angles, pans, tilts, focal length, etc. in their everyday encounters with media.  I think this observation and understanding of how and why things function as they do will help to make things more clear in their minds and their practice. 

A final note, though I teach in a classroom and am quite accustomed to pacing with my lesson plans, I find that I feel so very far behind when it comes to an understanding of the principles involved with filmmaking, and especially with the equipment.  Honestly, I film things with my iPad.  Yesterday in class was the first time I ever touched a real (non-old school home movie style) video camera.  I know that sounds preposterous, but it’s true.  I’m not only out of my comfort zone here, I’m on a different level entirely…which is not a bad thing.  It just takes some adjustment.  It’s a process, like anything else worth learning. 

Story and Screenwriting Reflections

I have always been a storyteller – how good of one is, perhaps, yet to be seen.  But my life has always revolved around stories.  From a young age I was inundated with stories from my father.  Every place we went had a hidden story.  Every car trip began with an “I remember when” and every complaint was properly answered with a “When I was your age” tale of hardship.  In my current life as a drama teacher, my focus is always on the story.  I find them the most powerful resource in teaching a concept or principal or opening the path to feeling.  I always encourage my students to focus on the story, on the journey of the characters.  My head is filled with stories of my childhood intermingled with the books that I am obsessed with reading and the musicals and plays that consume my work life.  For me, fiction becomes real.  And words become a scene.  I love reading Alma and staging the battle and trickery sequences in my head.  I encounter the written word, especially in novel form with the eye of a stage director.

So, if nearly every element of my life is focused on visual storytelling, screenplays and writing them should be simple, right?

(Insert sarcastic joke that I am far too exhausted to write.)

When it comes to screenwriting, I find that dialogue is a struggle for me.  I decided to take the story that I shared in the first assignment, but that was of me when I was a small child.  I find that I don’t really know how kids talk and find it extremely difficult to make the dialogue I write sound authentic, seeing as though I don’t spend much time around children.  I think the old adage that you should write what you know should be expanded to say, “Don’t write what you don’t know.”

Perhaps at this point of time, it would have been wise for me to switch gears and choose another story that was easier to conceptualize…perhaps about a group of argumentative people trying to put on the largest stadium fireworks show in America…but that would have far too much profanity for an assignment at the Lord’s University. 

So, instead, here I am.  I’m writing a piece, focused on a memory that really does mean something to me and was rather foundational in my life, but I find it challenging to make this story reach and audience and create a theme upon which to make a meaningful piece of theatre.  Is anyone else going to care about this story – which seems so everyday and insignificant?  I also found that the memory I chose to use for my story was only a few moments long in real time.  I think, for shooting purposes, it would be best to do this in either real time or elongate time a bit to emphasize certain poignant moments.  I struggled with how to end the piece as well.  I didn’t want it to be too sappy, though my memory is, of course, covered in sugar coated marshmallow memories.  I think I need more format research work and to try to break out of the novel format to which I am naturally drawn.  Ah, well.  It’s a work in progress. 

TMA 680 Goals for the Course

While it's tempting to state that my goal is to survive this course, and primarily the next two weeks, I promise they do go far deeper than that.

First and foremost, I know little to nothing about production.  In our last class, I created pieces and I could tell that the technique wasn't great and by the end of this course, I would like to rectify that situation.  I would like to figure out why things don't look or feel right in the films I create and then rectify the situation.

I would like to learn to not be so literal in the creating of my pieces, but rather to develop a clear storytelling technique that is interesting and accessible.  I (think) I am able to do that with the pieces that I create on stage, but I would love the opportunity to learn how to translate that into film.

I would like to learn how to edit; different types of cuts and edits, instead of my usual use of imovie - which really has served me well.  I want to walk away from this course knowing how to properly light a shot, different types of shots, and how to incorporate clear and appropriate sound and levels.

I would like to be able to see what in my life and surroundings makes a compelling subject for film.

Because I am quite interested in incorporating film (likely documentary) into my thesis project with my students, I would like to develop the necessary skills to feasibly see the incorporation of docu-drama and media into a stage production.

In essence, my goals are to learn the skills necessary that I can more fully integrate media education into my drama classroom through creation of activities, lesson plans and assessments.  I want to be able to use this class to help me teach in the real world.

Metamorphosis: Living and Leaving High School, My final project

Film can be found at: http://youtu.be/40FPBFvIfFY

In my eight years at Lehi High School, I have seen so much change.  I struggle each year as a group of students with whom I have become incredibly close transitions and moves on to their next journey.  I believe that high school students are intelligent beings that can add much to our understanding of the world through their simplicity (their belief in dreams and possibilities) and their complexity (specifically in their understanding of human emotions and depth of feeling). 

Often, high school students feel like they aren’t heard.  It is my belief and mini-attempt through this short film, to help them feel empowered to take ownership of their own journey.  Throughout the filming and editing of this piece, it became clear that this project was an opportunity for me to really listen, to reverse the roles and have the teacher be taught by the life experiences of the students.  Utilizing principally the participatory mode, I gathered and facilitated both private and public interviews.  These students, for the most part, are very comfortable talking to me and having a camera in their face.  They trust that I will represent them well, and I hope that I have. 

I took a portion of my inspiration for this project from Chronicles of a Summer and the Up Documentary Series.  I am fascinated by the idea of letting people tell their own stories.  Though at first they may need some help, perhaps a question or two to get them going and the necessity of trusting the filmmaker, indeed something powerful can happen when a group of people is given a voice and a task. 

One fundamental of the documentary idea is the chance to give a voice to those who are not often questioned or listened to.  I turned on the camera and I just listened and let them talk.  By the end of the project, I had hours of footage, more than I could ever hope to use in a short film.  But I found, as I centered on what it is like for these students to really live and experience high school and their assumptions, dreams, and fears about leaving and encountering the world ahead of them, that I needed to give the audience an essence of who these students are as I have been fortunate to see them.  I needed to add the pictures highlighting a bit of their senior year; to let some of their poignant and important moments express themselves in free form and let their voices supplement the story they are creating.  I concluded that perhaps this listening would make me a better teacher.

My students expressed how difficult it was for them to be in this space of limbo, the pre-adult and post-adolescent phase, where the expectations placed upon them don’t match and they are left in a space of ambiguity.  Where they are told to (quoting one student) “choose a career, but save their hall passes so they can go to the bathroom.”  I found, in interviewing them, that their life experiences up to this point shaped their vision of the future.  While it is tempting for me, at times, to interject and say that their expectations are impractical; is that really my judgment to make?  One of the lessons reinforced from my students during this project was that everyone is a unique individual with their own journey to forge. 

These kids are speaking for themselves as individuals, but upon reflection, after watching the initial film, they spoke as a group.  It was very much a “we talk about us to you” approach.  While attempting to still give them autonomy and their own voice, as the filmmaker and their former teacher, I still chose what clips to feature and how the voices were arranged.   My voice is heard in the piece, but I tried to compose it in such a way that I didn’t make judgments on what my students felt or said.  Learning from the director of the Up Documentary Series, Michael Apted, who stated: “I've made mistakes on it and had to correct those mistakes. You know, particularly I got into a situation, I think, early on where I became judgmental about people — that if they didn't agree with my standards of success, failure, happiness, whatever, then I would feel they were the lesser for it….And I think what I've learned all the way through is the less I do, the better." (1)  It would be easy for me to state that some of their dreams aren’t realistic, or sink into my teacher mode and attempt to try to steer them in the direction that I want them to go with their lives.  But the ethical dilemma of “what to do with people” prohibits such an action.  Instead it informs my understanding of how I can interact with these students and encourage thought and reflection. 

I feel like this film was high collaborative.  I gave the students the opportunity to choose what questions they wanted to answer, to watch their responses and amend as they wished.  I sought their thoughts on what the piece should be about.  The innovation of digital technology allowed for this process to be succinct and collaborative.  Filming initially with my iPad, I was able to show them their footage immediately.  Granted, the camera was essential in facilitating the conversation, but the students were comfortable with talking to me while the camera was present.  While I wish, in some ways, that I could have asked more probing and deeper questions, it was more important for me with these relatively young people, who trusted me, to respect their boundaries.  There were a few things initially shared that the students didn’t want published on YouTube, so those didn’t make it into the final cut. 

For me, this film was a tribute to a group of students who have supported me through this very difficult year.   The social actors involved are a part of my life.  I think some aspects of the film function within the realm of a personal portrait.  We are able to view some private as well as public moments.  Snapshots reveal charismatic youth that are about to encounter the real world.  But there really is no solution offered for the problems they have faced or will soon encounter.  They mention their frustrations and fears, but also add in their realization that sometimes, you just have to go out and do.  You have to actively live.  These social actors surmise that success comes after you have come out of something hard and tackle whatever was thrown at you.  It is the metamorphosis, the changing itself, that allows for possible growth, living, and leaving for the next phase. 

1. (http://www.npr.org/2013/07/26/205760044/michael-apted-aging-with-the-7-up-crew) 

Doc Mode 3 – Autobiographical

Project can be found at: http://youtu.be/gG8iaWFTGwQ

Representing myself is terrifying.  I tried repeatedly to find something else to do for this doc mode, and I think, even in its approach, I played it a little safe.  Fox stated that "baring oneself to a public is at the heart of the autobiographical mode. The emotional and personal life experiences of the producer become the documented reality." (Fox, 41) As I attempt to construct, and sometimes reconstruct, my documented reality, I don't want this to be a naval gaze, because I think it does examine a larger societal problem within the Mormon culture...the ever pressing question, "what do we do with these mid-singles who can't seem to get it together and get married?"  Fox also states that, "when successful, the example of the self is a means of assessing political and historical questions of larger social relevance. At its best, the autobiographical mode not only closes the gap between the photographer and the subject but also the space between the filmmaker and the audience." (Fox, 41)

I know the church is coming at this out of a place of love, but they don't know what to do with my demographic.  If we could just get married, they have a nice little niche for us.  If we were just younger, they would have plenty of advice and counsel.  But, as it is, they (those within the church who are trying to help us toward our own salvation) encourage us to go online and meet someone - focusing on marriage as a final destination as opposed to a stop along the journey.  They want us to get together and do singles activities in an effort to pair us off, but get frustrated when we do too many group things and not enough one-on-one dating.  It's a constant conundrum – “a mid-singles phenomenon,” written about in church and layman publications.  And perhaps the most tricky and painful part of this exploration, our families can't help but make comments that are rather hurtful, though well-intentioned.

I think for that reason, creating an autobiographical piece was so difficult for me.  I don't want anyone to know how much it hurts, not to be single, but to be constantly looked at and referred  to as incomplete or broken because of my state of being.  Shedding further light on the mode, Fox asserts that "autobiographical works use the life and views of the filmmaker as the subject matter, putting his or her existence under scrutiny....the use of self serves as an access point to political and historical questions of a larger social relevance." (Fox, 233)  For this piece, I chose to use a variety of images from my current situation, as an exploration of what a mid-single active church member deals with.  My experience is by no means universal, which is really at the heart of the problem.  We are all individual and need to be addressed as such.  But our situation needs to be handled with a bit more compassion, if it is ever to be addressed in a helpful manner.